- Giving this a try
- June 15th, 2011
Well I guess Ill give this a try.
I wish karma would leave me alone today. Over the past two months I have done a lot of things I'm not proud of, things I don't really feel the need to mention. And I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around, and I think I have taken my fair share of comes around. I mean, there has to be a limit at some point doesn't there? There are a lot of people who I know who have done the same terrible things and have gotten away with them time and time again and karma has never caught up with them, so why me?
Ive done a lot of thinking since I moved back home, about who I want to be and what I want to do with life. Nothing seems to be working though. I always end up going in circles and they all lead back to him (my ex). We were truly not a match made in heaven, lets face it were toxic for each other, but I still cant get past this. I truly think, somewhere deep down, that he isn't the mean and nasty person a lot of people make him out to be. The sad thing is, its not something he is willing to change just for me. And he doesn't really see what hes doing as wrong.
I know I'm just setting myself up for a bigger fall by being with him and seeing him but I cant help it. I know were not right for each other and I know how he can get but I still come back. Maybe its because he has given me another chance that I'm running back to him. Another chance I don't really deserve. Who knows? Until I figure this out I guess I'm stuck running around in circles trying to figure out my life.